The wonderful world of Internet dating.....is this really what the world has come to? I thought that I had found the man of my dreams only to find out that it was a lie, so here I am. OK so I played around on eharmony before I met Stu, went on a couple of dates and decided to give it another try. Now I have a different approach to it, don't take it too seriously and have fun with it and always have a way out. My coworkers always love hearing about the dates that I've been on so at least we all stay entertained. I'm not sure when I will be able to give my heart to someone again, the scars seem a little too deep this time but I will stay in the game.
Danny........plenty of fish. We talked for about a week before meeting, everything seemed normal, well besides the fact that he told me that he didn't drink. Red flag......he told me that it was his choice just didn't seem to want to drink anymore, but was fine with others drinking. He was 35, wanted kids, never been married and the last serious relationship was about a year earlier. He had a Danzig tattoo, listened to about the same music as me, had a job, a car and lived in an apartment by himself in Seattle. Seemed good. I didn't like the fact that he already had a pet name for me before we met, Doll? whatever. We decided to meet for coffee in Ballard at 6pm on a Thursday night. I was running a little late, I would have been on time but as i was heading out the door i noticed that my dress was above my ass....not good for a first date. Gotta love static cling , thank god I stood in front of the mirror to see if my ass looked cute haha. No time to find another outfit so i swapped it with sweats, threw that one in the dryer (with dryer sheet) and decided to have a quick smoke while i waited. Threw the dress back on only to discover that it still was full of static, grabbed the water bottle and sprayed it down,. The walk was a little cold but it was dry by the time I got there. Walking around the corner to market street I was suddenly blinded by the sun, I could see outlines of everyone but not facial features....fuck. He said he was sitting on a bench in front of the dollar plus store so that's were I headed...two choices older guy with a cane that might have ate Santa Claus or a guy that looked in his 40's with horrible sunglasses and balding. Fuck fuck fuck.......OK it's just coffee and then I'm out. No other plans for the evening so this will at least be a good story.......
"Hi"
"hi, oh you already got coffee?"
"yeah this is my second"
"awesome, well I'm going to go get some" as I quickly turn and pray to whatever god wants to listen at the time, please don't follow me, please don't follow me
crap, he followed.......ordered my drink, made small talk with the barista, paid for my own coffee wtf? OK so i kinda didn't even give him the chance to offer, I hadn't even really fully looked at him till after i was done paying. When I did, I might have gasped, probably not out loud, not too sure on that one, but he didn't seem to notice.....
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
7th grade
We had moved once again, this time the town was Issaquah. Things were drastically getting worse at home. I was never allowed to be in any room of the house except for my bedroom or my bathroom. I wasn't even allowed to be in the living room to watch t.v. when she wasn't there. I knew the sound of her car and would quickly wipe it down with a cool rag and run back to my room, heart racing just waiting for her to come to my room and take out her frustration of the day or traffic on me. I'm really surprised that she never noticed the only thing n the house that never needed to be dusted was the t.v. My reflexes were getting quite quick, ducking in time to avoid contact , only to feel the broken tidbits of whatever she had found in arms reach to throw at my head , spraying my back. There was also the constant hunger, there was never any food in the house and if there was any, it was to little to try and get away with taking. She would bring food home, but it was usually just enough for her. I remember one time trying to sneak to the kitchen to grab a banana, she was sitting on the couch eating a steak and she caught me. She then chased me around the kitchen isle to my room with her knife. Needless to say, I didn't get the banana.
I started making friends with some of the kids that lived in the apartment complex, most were my age or older and seeing that I had just moved there, I had no babysitting jobs. I started eating dinner at their house while my mother thought I was at basketball practice. I knew that she would never show up, so there was never a worry of getting caught. She was so caught up with whatever boyfriend she had or plotting her next scheme to even notice that I did not have any clothes or shoes for the meets. One night after eating dinner at a friends house, leaving and then trying to kill time before I could go home, I met a boy, he was older and seemed cool. He even had cigarettes that he would steal from his mother. We starting meeting everyday in the woods to smoke. That seemed like a nice break from the girls that I was hanging out with, they were always fighting and talking shit about each other. It was from them that I learned what a yeast infection was. One of them had gotten one and the other was saying it was because she was always playing with herself and never washed her hands. I had never masturbated at that point and was a little afraid to do so because I didn't want whatever cottage cheese symptoms she was describing. I still needed them to be my friends because they were my meal ticket, but sometimes a cigarette outbid the food. One day while smoking in the woods with my new friend, he tried kissing me, I turned my head just in time. He laughed and said that I shouldn't be so shy. Moments later, he told me he knew how I could make some money, enough for me to run away with. He could be my pimp, he knew some boys that would pay to have sex with me and since I was a virgin, he could show me the ropes, train me. I didn't know what to say, I was shocked, stunned and out of nervousness started laughing. He did to, then quickly said he was joking, gave me a few cigarettes and said that he would see me tomorrow. When we met again the next day for our daily smoking ritual, he told me that he wasn't joking, he was serious. I took his pack of cigarettes and ran home. I never went to meet him again.
My birthday was a couple of weeks later and I received some birthday money. My mom was furious that I would not give it to her to put into my 'bank account' and threw me to the floor demanding to know where I had put it. I refused to tell her and when she finally wore herself out hitting and kicking me, she left slamming the door as she left. I heard the t.v. turn on and I jumped out my bedroom window and started walking down the mountain. I walked for about two hours until my grandma saw me, she had just driven up from Ellensburg to find me, she got me in the car and drove me back up the mountain, back home. My mother was not there. We grabbed some stuff and off to Ellensburg I went.
Lesson learned.......It's ok to steal from someone trying to steal your soul, even if it's only a $3.00 pack of smokes.
We had moved once again, this time the town was Issaquah. Things were drastically getting worse at home. I was never allowed to be in any room of the house except for my bedroom or my bathroom. I wasn't even allowed to be in the living room to watch t.v. when she wasn't there. I knew the sound of her car and would quickly wipe it down with a cool rag and run back to my room, heart racing just waiting for her to come to my room and take out her frustration of the day or traffic on me. I'm really surprised that she never noticed the only thing n the house that never needed to be dusted was the t.v. My reflexes were getting quite quick, ducking in time to avoid contact , only to feel the broken tidbits of whatever she had found in arms reach to throw at my head , spraying my back. There was also the constant hunger, there was never any food in the house and if there was any, it was to little to try and get away with taking. She would bring food home, but it was usually just enough for her. I remember one time trying to sneak to the kitchen to grab a banana, she was sitting on the couch eating a steak and she caught me. She then chased me around the kitchen isle to my room with her knife. Needless to say, I didn't get the banana.
I started making friends with some of the kids that lived in the apartment complex, most were my age or older and seeing that I had just moved there, I had no babysitting jobs. I started eating dinner at their house while my mother thought I was at basketball practice. I knew that she would never show up, so there was never a worry of getting caught. She was so caught up with whatever boyfriend she had or plotting her next scheme to even notice that I did not have any clothes or shoes for the meets. One night after eating dinner at a friends house, leaving and then trying to kill time before I could go home, I met a boy, he was older and seemed cool. He even had cigarettes that he would steal from his mother. We starting meeting everyday in the woods to smoke. That seemed like a nice break from the girls that I was hanging out with, they were always fighting and talking shit about each other. It was from them that I learned what a yeast infection was. One of them had gotten one and the other was saying it was because she was always playing with herself and never washed her hands. I had never masturbated at that point and was a little afraid to do so because I didn't want whatever cottage cheese symptoms she was describing. I still needed them to be my friends because they were my meal ticket, but sometimes a cigarette outbid the food. One day while smoking in the woods with my new friend, he tried kissing me, I turned my head just in time. He laughed and said that I shouldn't be so shy. Moments later, he told me he knew how I could make some money, enough for me to run away with. He could be my pimp, he knew some boys that would pay to have sex with me and since I was a virgin, he could show me the ropes, train me. I didn't know what to say, I was shocked, stunned and out of nervousness started laughing. He did to, then quickly said he was joking, gave me a few cigarettes and said that he would see me tomorrow. When we met again the next day for our daily smoking ritual, he told me that he wasn't joking, he was serious. I took his pack of cigarettes and ran home. I never went to meet him again.
My birthday was a couple of weeks later and I received some birthday money. My mom was furious that I would not give it to her to put into my 'bank account' and threw me to the floor demanding to know where I had put it. I refused to tell her and when she finally wore herself out hitting and kicking me, she left slamming the door as she left. I heard the t.v. turn on and I jumped out my bedroom window and started walking down the mountain. I walked for about two hours until my grandma saw me, she had just driven up from Ellensburg to find me, she got me in the car and drove me back up the mountain, back home. My mother was not there. We grabbed some stuff and off to Ellensburg I went.
Lesson learned.......It's ok to steal from someone trying to steal your soul, even if it's only a $3.00 pack of smokes.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Before I could continue writing this blog, I needed to grab a notepad and start writing down the names of all the boys and men who had entered into my life at some point and I realized, wow, I have had some bad luck in love, but thank god, I found the humor in each relationship and hopefully for each one I have learned a lesson. I also realized when this is all said and done, when all my secrets and love affairs are out in the open, I might need to change my name lol. Not all my stories are going to make me look good and this isn't about bashing anyone, that's why I am not using any of the guys names, this is more of the ups and then downs of dating and being single in this generation. These are my stories and I am not going to hold back while telling them. I will probably offend some and make the others blush. Hopefully, in the end, you will be laughing at my mistakes and share your dating mishaps with me. I am starting from the beginning, with my little crushes and my middle school boyfriends, hopefully by the time I get to the present I will find the humor in my relationship with arizona and hopefully, I will have a happy ending to write about, but time will tell........Enjoy
6th grade
To escape my mother's violent mood swings when I was younger, I started babysitting. It got to the point where I never saw my mother, which was perfect and the money I was making was nice to have until my mother opened up a bank account for me and I never saw the money again. I was basically paying my mother to let me go out and be a kid. I could play in the park, watch movies, do what I wanted all in the name of babysitting. After the kids were asleep, out came the phone. I would talk for the rest of the night to different boys from school. We would flirt for a couple of days, then they would ask me out. Of course I would always say yes and then get all giddy and not be able to sleep. The next day would come and I would step off the bus, there they would be waiting for me and I just didn't feel the connection anymore. They always seemed to be cuter on the phone, in real life they were just awkward, sweaty and showing the ugly side of just starting puberty. It was always so awkward and they never knew what to say. How could we talk all night about whatever middle school kids talk about and then they get all shy when their friends were around? By lunchtime I had broken up with them. Well, at least my friend had told them that we were broken up. I think this happened about three times until I started dating D*****. We made it a whole week. It was friday, and Morgan and I were staying after school to watch our boyfriends play football. Her boyfriend found us first and she kissed him good luck, D***** was still in the locker room. They then told me that I had to kiss D***** for good luck because that is what girlfriends do. He came out of the locker room and I broke up with him. I didn't stay around to see if they won or lost.
The next week, I was making out with Morgan's boyfriend, well, they were on again, off again and that week they were off. After about 45 minutes of making out, he had to go home for dinner and when he called the next day, I broke up with him. D***** starting calling my best friend Becca, they started dating, I think that lasted about a week . D***** became one of my really good friends even after moving to a different school, taking the bus to whatever city I was living in to visit for a hour or staying up all night just talking. We lost touch later when I moved to Ellensburg, I wish that I could remember his last name.
Lesson learned...............it was middle school, really? Does that count as dating. My first kiss was sloppy and that's why I broke up with him, I should have kissed D*****, anyways lesson learned and I still stand by it. If the kiss is bad, it's not going to get better, RUN!
6th grade
To escape my mother's violent mood swings when I was younger, I started babysitting. It got to the point where I never saw my mother, which was perfect and the money I was making was nice to have until my mother opened up a bank account for me and I never saw the money again. I was basically paying my mother to let me go out and be a kid. I could play in the park, watch movies, do what I wanted all in the name of babysitting. After the kids were asleep, out came the phone. I would talk for the rest of the night to different boys from school. We would flirt for a couple of days, then they would ask me out. Of course I would always say yes and then get all giddy and not be able to sleep. The next day would come and I would step off the bus, there they would be waiting for me and I just didn't feel the connection anymore. They always seemed to be cuter on the phone, in real life they were just awkward, sweaty and showing the ugly side of just starting puberty. It was always so awkward and they never knew what to say. How could we talk all night about whatever middle school kids talk about and then they get all shy when their friends were around? By lunchtime I had broken up with them. Well, at least my friend had told them that we were broken up. I think this happened about three times until I started dating D*****. We made it a whole week. It was friday, and Morgan and I were staying after school to watch our boyfriends play football. Her boyfriend found us first and she kissed him good luck, D***** was still in the locker room. They then told me that I had to kiss D***** for good luck because that is what girlfriends do. He came out of the locker room and I broke up with him. I didn't stay around to see if they won or lost.
The next week, I was making out with Morgan's boyfriend, well, they were on again, off again and that week they were off. After about 45 minutes of making out, he had to go home for dinner and when he called the next day, I broke up with him. D***** starting calling my best friend Becca, they started dating, I think that lasted about a week . D***** became one of my really good friends even after moving to a different school, taking the bus to whatever city I was living in to visit for a hour or staying up all night just talking. We lost touch later when I moved to Ellensburg, I wish that I could remember his last name.
Lesson learned...............it was middle school, really? Does that count as dating. My first kiss was sloppy and that's why I broke up with him, I should have kissed D*****, anyways lesson learned and I still stand by it. If the kiss is bad, it's not going to get better, RUN!
Blogs, such a funny thing. My life and emotions all on a page for the world to see. Here I go.......My friend and I decided to write a book, I tell my story and she will use her magic to create something, hopefully. This is my rough draft. My first story.............but this isn't how it ended in my fairytales.
My first love was when I was 5, he was my best friend. We used to pretend we were getting married and then go play in the dirt. It was a perfect first love. Even if we were grounded, we still could play together since his mom and mine were best friends. Eating cereal in our underwear and watching transformers was our usual weekend date. Then one day, I came home crying. I had ended it with ****. I couldn't marry him, I just couldn't after what he told me. My mom was trying to get me to tell her what was wrong and when the tears and sobbing finally stopped, I told her that I couldn't marry him because he told me that he was going to be a truck driver when he grew up, and I could not marry a truck driver. We still remained friends and still ate our cereal together but we no longer pretended to get married, I just couldn't.
Years later, I went to his house to hide from my grandparents, I needed a scarf or something to hide the teenage love marks forming on my neck. We listened to guns and roses and laughed about our childhood and how someday, since he didn't want to be a truck driver, that it would be funny if we got married. I got sent to boarding school about a year later and when I returned he was a coyboy, still my friend, but a cowboy. Wranglers and ripped babydoll dresses just don't go together. The last time I saw him, he was wearing a suit and holding hands with a girl in white. I congratulated them and then told her how she had stole my first love. We both laughed, I bought them a drink. He is still happily married and has two beautiful children. I am very happy that the little boy in under-roos that I once loved, got that happy ending.
Lesson learned.............................I still won't marry a truck driver, so I really am not sure.
My first love was when I was 5, he was my best friend. We used to pretend we were getting married and then go play in the dirt. It was a perfect first love. Even if we were grounded, we still could play together since his mom and mine were best friends. Eating cereal in our underwear and watching transformers was our usual weekend date. Then one day, I came home crying. I had ended it with ****. I couldn't marry him, I just couldn't after what he told me. My mom was trying to get me to tell her what was wrong and when the tears and sobbing finally stopped, I told her that I couldn't marry him because he told me that he was going to be a truck driver when he grew up, and I could not marry a truck driver. We still remained friends and still ate our cereal together but we no longer pretended to get married, I just couldn't.
Years later, I went to his house to hide from my grandparents, I needed a scarf or something to hide the teenage love marks forming on my neck. We listened to guns and roses and laughed about our childhood and how someday, since he didn't want to be a truck driver, that it would be funny if we got married. I got sent to boarding school about a year later and when I returned he was a coyboy, still my friend, but a cowboy. Wranglers and ripped babydoll dresses just don't go together. The last time I saw him, he was wearing a suit and holding hands with a girl in white. I congratulated them and then told her how she had stole my first love. We both laughed, I bought them a drink. He is still happily married and has two beautiful children. I am very happy that the little boy in under-roos that I once loved, got that happy ending.
Lesson learned.............................I still won't marry a truck driver, so I really am not sure.
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